I quit

If you don't know who this is or why this picture goes with this post
you need to educate yourself on RuPauls Drag Race
Okay okay I admit that was totally click baity of me to give this post this title. I know. But I'm THAT sorry about it. 

Some of you may remember ages ago I mentioned I thought taking the Certified Associate Project Management exam would be a good idea. Some how last year I got it into my head I should have this certificate. I had this idea while having beer with Johnathan and some of his friends so I blame them as to why I thought this was a good idea.

I thought it might help bump up my career skills considering I have had to drop everything career wise a few times to follow Johnathan as he pursued his career goals. 

I've been working towards this since May of last year. I took the course needed to even apply to take the exam. I started studying. It didn't go well. The topics were a slog, the chapters took forever, the practice tests were mind numbing. It was soul crushing. And then life happened, as it does. Then I got more responsibility at work which was awesome. I had a "come to Jesus" moment. 

I don't want to take that stupid test. 

I had already rescheduled it once. 

And furthermore, what the hell was I going to do with this piece of paper once I got it?


Yeah that's one heck of a realization to have. I was driving myself crazy for something I didn't actually want in the end and something I wasn't going to be anything with.

Johnathan, bless his cotton socks, said to take the test anyway, fail and be done with it. 

As my best friend Jamie said, "does he even know you?"

I've been going back and forth about this for weeks! The test date was looming and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to just not do it. 

I came up with all sorts of pros and cons. 

Pro: it looked good on a CV
Con: I wasn't planning on changing jobs
Pro: it shows I can finish something
Con: I hate it
Pro: take it, see what happens. I might be pleasantly surprised. 
Con: waste my time, the testing centre time and fail

And it went on and on. 

Then I did what the Konmari method suggests. I held this idea to my chest and if it brought me joy I would keep going no matter how soul destroying it was. If it didn't I would say thank you to the idea and discard it. 

I discarded the idea.

The relief I felt when I saw the "your test has been cancelled" message was amazing. I realized taking that test would have been about pleasing everyone else. A lot of people knew I was working towards this. Hell, I even had an instagram hashtag for it. But I wasn't happy. And all I would have at end of it would be frayed nerves and a piece of paper that at this point in my life would be pretty much useless. I think some where deep down inside I was trying to prove to those around me that I am more than a typist. But you know what? I like being a typist. I like formatting documents. I like proofreading and I like leaving my job at work. 

I will find other things that will give me skills in case one day I am no longer a typist. Being an associate project manager just isn't one of those skills I want to have right now. 

So did I actually quit? Sure. I did. I'm a quitter.

But I'm a super happy and relieved quitter who won't have a useless piece of paper.