|Zombie Snack is telling me about a cartoon show|
Johnathan has no idea what she's talking about but trying
"She who has yet to be named" is so over the whole lot of us
Johnathan travels a lot. This is an established fact. That is just how our life is. April was the first month in 2015 he was home in Switzerland for the ENTIRE month. Yes, He's only spent one entire month at home so far this year. The later summer and fall are shaping up to having more travel.
When Johnathan goes on mission it's just life as usual. Life goes on without him and then he comes home and life continues. I miss him when he's gone and he misses me. I have trouble sleeping because the apartment isn't the right kind of quiet. If jetlag isn't kicking his butt he has a bit of trouble sleeping because he'll wake up because I'm not there. I usually eat 95% vegetarian while he's away and John usually finds the biggest steak or burger he can get his hands on. We have this whole him traveling for work down to a science.
What we never thought we would have to figure out is one of us traveling home without the other. If you keep up with me on instagram you'll know Johnathan is currently back in Canada. At home, in Manitoba, without me. Yesterday he watched his sister become a newly wife. Which is exciting and wonderful and happy and all those adjectives. I couldn't be more happy for her.
The choice to send Johnathan home was easy to make. I stand by the decision. I will always stand by the decision. If we had to do it all over again I would make the same choice. Johnathan needs to be at his sister's wedding. He just needs to be. There are a lot of reasons but the main one is he needs to be there. A few people have questioned us but we find they shut up fairly quickly when you ask them if they have a spare two grand laying about to send me too. #expatproblems.
While the choice is easy, the reality of the decision is not so easy. I explained this to Johnathan in the following way. When I was a kid we moved a lot. And being told we were moving while sometimes surprising always made sense. There was always a logic to it and that's just what we had to do. Now the reality of our moves were always a whole other beast. It meant packing and getting rid of stuff and saying goodbye and missing out on things. The decision always makes sense. The reality never does. It just makes you sad. So him going home made sense but the actual act of him getting on that plane broke my heart.
Friday I was skyping with him and my nieces. He handed his Windows Surface over to Zombie Snack while she was bouncing on the bed of his hotel room so he could answer the door. Yes you read that correctly. He gave an expensive piece of tech to a 4 year old jumping on a bed. But I don't see it that way (okay I do a little...), I see it as he let me jump on the bed with my niece from 7000 km away. Later he stopped by my besties house. There are pictures of him with our godchildren of awesome. They're wearing the clothing I sent. And then yesterday I was asking my godchildren about the visit and they were STILL vibrating from their encounter with the illusive Uncle traveling John. These moments make me so happy. So very happy. Hearing little voices say, "thank you Auntie Tana!" makes my heart explode. Thanks to technology I could "be there". But thanks to technology I was also reminded that I am not there.
We're not there for a lot of things when it comes to our families. This is a reality of expat life. We've gotten use to that. We miss pretty much everything and you find your own little way to celebrate from afar. What we're not use to is just one of us not being there for family things. But we're figuring it out. Like everything else in expat living, you just figure it out as you go. And try not to eat all your feelings in the process (I swear its like the grocery store saw me coming, cake AND ice cream on sale?!?!)
The one thing I've figured out for sure though is my coping mechanism is getting creative (I can hear my mom now going, duh!!!!!) With my iPhone in hand I made a video for my sister-in-law and the newest member of the "So you married a Hammell" club (we're a very exclusive club.) I wanted to let them know I was thinking of them...and that they were my excuse to buy a bottle of champagne (like I need an excuse...) Above all though, I did something fun without Johnathan while he was doing something fun without me. Go team.
On a totally unrelated note: the above style of video might be the future of Sippy Saturday...except I will remember to shoot the damn thing with the camera horizontally not vertically! #iknowbetter