The soundtrack of my Adult life

Circa 2001 or 2002...the Dubious Highschooler
I got my inspiration for this post from Three Years and Home who is a fellow Swiss expat blogger. Go check out her blog. It's awesome. Say hi!

In keeping with the retrospective/getting to know me a little more momentum from my Tuesday 10 I thought it was perfect time for this post. Everyone has a soundtrack to their life. Everyone has pieces of music that take them back to a lpace in their brain and soul where they're suddenly 14 and you're "in love" for the first time. Or 18 and it's your grad night or 23 and its your grandfathers funeral. Just like food memories there are music memories.

Music has always been a big part of my life. Music was always played at home. And not one particular type either. My parents played everything from soundtracks, Brahmns, Queen, The Capenters. There was always been an extensive cd, cassette and vinyl collection in my parents home. Everyone in my family plays at least one musical instrument (whether they wanted to or not) and there was a certain expectation that you appreciate music of all kinds. I married someone who loves music as much as I do BUT has the musical ability of a blocked nostril (his phrase not mine...though I don't disagree.) I thought I would share 5 songs from the soundtrack of my adult life.

King of Spain by Moxy Fruvous was summer of 2003. I was 19. Just had my ass dumped by the boy I had been dating since I was 16 and thought I was going to marry. I was informed over the phone I was no longer what he was looking for. Ouch. Later that summer I met a boy who would become my husband and a girl who would become my best friend and soul mate. The boy I met had a tape in his blue buick that had such musical delights as "Unforgiven" by Metallica, "Old Man on a Back porch" by The Presidents of the United States of America and King of Spain by Moxy Fruvous. Both Jamie (my bestie) and I loved this song and loved the fact that John had it on a tape (ooooo so vintage) in his car. Even today almost 10 years later I can just say, "I'm telling you I was the king of spain!!!" and both John and Jamie will reply with similar enthusiasm  "but now I eat humble pie!" 

Suddenly by Superchic[k] was the spring of 2005. I've been a Superchick fan for years but this song appeared when I (and my dear friend Macy) needed it the most. I was trying to figure out what to do with myself. I was 22, had one semester of University left. My friends were starting to get married. I had a received my certification to teach English as a second language and my EU passport. I was terrified of my future and I had no idea what I was doing. I had a plane ticket to England, a contract to spend the summer working at a ESL Summer school and a boyfriend, best friend and family that supported my decision to go adventuring on my own. I spent a lot of time doubting myself. I spent a lot of time talking to Macy about doubting myself. Then this song fell into my lap. Seriously, my friend Lindsey told me to get the new album and it fell off my dashboard into my lap while I was in the car with John on our way home from Winnipeg once. So I listened. And I cried. And I was told, "you are where you're suppose to be." Fun fact: this song is the reason I have the word "suddenly" tattooed on my right leg.

Cause I love you by Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. Fun fact: The night John proposed we watched the movie "Walk the Line." Yeah he popped the question. I giggled a lot, forgot to say yes, he stared, I finally said yes, we hugged, I called my mom from his place, then we watched a movie. I kid you not. His roommate had recently moved out and took most of the furniture. So we sat on the floor of what would be in 5 months time "our" apartment and watched an epic love story unfold before our eyes. This song always takes me back to two stupid kids in love sitting on the floor of a basement apartment. Happy. Laughing. Staring at each other and saying occasionally, "we're getting married!" Admittedly, we're still two stupid kids in love but at least now we have a couch to sit on.

Raise your glass by P!nk. This song helped me through running my first 5km race. It got me through roller derby cross training. It shook the windows on my way to roller derby practice. It centered my on bout day. It was my reminder that I needed to celebrate being wrong in all the right ways. I had a beautiful chosen family of derby girls that loved me. I have a group of friends from high school that were still there almost 10 years later. I married into a family that didn't really get me but they accepted me. I also had my own family that embraced my every whim. I had a boy that cheered me on even when I wanted to give up. Life was good. Life was dancey!! Fun fact: John hates this song only because the radio station that was piped in at his gym at work played it ALL the time. Bahahahahahaha

I won't give up by Jason Mraz. You may have seen on my 2012 in lists this song appeared as one of the songs I wouldn't get sick of. 2012 was the biggest test of our marriage. We celebrated 6 years of marriage in July but there were times this year where we weren't sure we were actually going to make it. There was a lot of frustration, a lot of resentment, a lot of anger and a least 2 threats to move back to Canada. This. is. hard. But we're not going to give up.


  1. "And now I work at the Pizza, Pizza..."

    Beautiful post.

  2. This post is so *Tatiana* and I love that. I also sorta love you, a lot. You remind me it's okay to be me, and it's okay to be doubtful, and confused, and afraid. You admit that it's hard, and that makes it okay that it's hard over here too. Thank you.

  3. I got goose bumps reading about why I Won't Give Up means so much to you. Marriage is hard and sometimes even harder when there's just the two of you in a different country. Brilliant that you've come through it. May 2013 be a better year for you!


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