*Discussing the works of Ayn Rand*
John: What do you mean you liked The Fountainhead?
Tatiana: Yeah I did.
John: Her philosophy is childish and seriously bad.
Tatiana: We've been together 9.5 years, how are JUST finding out we have differing opinions on Ayn Rand?
John: No idea.
Tatiana: I am now questioning our entire marriage.
John: Yup, so am I.
*Discussing an old photo of John and his sister Beryth*
Tatiana: I love that picture.
John: Yeah...there is a really cute kid in that picture....and Beryth.
*Further discussing Ayn Rand*
John: Do you even know who Ayn Rand is?!
Tatiana: I have a lit degree OF COURSE I still who she is!
John: She's not lit...she's crappy philosphy! Oh and you can blog that.
*right after I announced I didn't feel well*
John: Can I get you anything beautiful?
Tatiana: A gun so you can shoot me.
John: Well...this is Switzerland. Everyone owns a gun here. That can be arranged.
*discussing the drink John made me*
Tatiana: How much rum did you put in here?
Tatiana: It's made me not care that I'm sick.
John: Well that was kind of the point.
*John skyping with his mom*
Tatiana: Oh look John it's your moms homemade nuts and bolts.
John: Don't show me that. That's not fair. That's teasing
*mother in law puts it back in the oven*
John: I hope the dog pees in it.
MiL: What was that?