|Taken by our friend Eugeniusz|
Yeah. Charmed. That's one good word for it. Other good words are;
Yeah, misunderstood that's another really good word for it.
On Sunday while putting away laundry a song came on my iPod (I really need to stop putting it on shuffle!) and I started to cry. I put my head on John's shoulder and said, "I wish people understood how hard this is some days!" As he patted me on the head, "write what you know beautiful."
So I've sat here since Sunday trying to write this in such a way that it doesn't come off as "oh woe is me" or "pity my choice to live the ex-pat life." Because that's not my intend. We full accept this was our choice and feeling homesick and disconnected comes with this whole thing. It's a package deal. You don't get to live across the ocean from your friends and family and not feel devastated some days that your friends and family live on the other side of an ocean.
Another part of the package is missing birthdays, funerals, weddings, births, baby milestones, family events and having to rely on facebook albums and disjointed re-tellings of events you weren't there for. There are little add-ons to that they fail to mention in the small print when you sign up for this lifestyle like people making you feel guilty for not coming home more often, the guilt you already feel for not being there for things and, the days where you seriously question why you even did this in the first place.
We've both had those moments. We've both had moments where we've wondered if we're not only going to make it but if our marriage will make it. We've both wondered if this is all its cracked up to be and whether or not this was the right thing to do. We always come back to yes. Yes we'll survive and so will our marriage. Yes it's all that is cracked up to be, most days and we are totally doing the right thing.
But you know what? This. is. hard.
But worth it.