U is for Umbrella

Turns out I tricked myself into thinking I was better yesterday. Oops. It seems I just have an amazing amount of will power when someone says, "want to go to a winery with me?" Well who wouldn't in that situation? I got home yesterday afternoon really tired and assumed it was the train ride and the wine that had worn me out. Nope, turns out I'm still sick as suggested by the symptom of a lost voice and feeling like death this morning. Sigh. But I will push on and enlighten you about umbrellas. More specifically why I received one as a gift.

John and I have only ever owned 1 umbrella. I bought it just before our wedding. I bought it because I had checked the weather forecast and it was going to be crazy sunny that day. "You bought an umbrella for a sunny day?" John and I are both prone to sunburn. John can get a sunburn just from thinking about going out in the sun. Wanting to avoid looking like lobsters on our wedding day I purchased the umbrella so we could have some shade. After that it just hung out in our closet. We could never manage to find it when it was actually raining and we needed it. And generally we got so frustrated with not being able to find it (it never moved so I'm not sure what kind of idiots we are that we couldn't find the darn thing) that we would just brave the rain without it.

We learned very quickly about the rain here in Switzerland. There is a lot of it, it will go on for days (2.5 weeks recently) and it's not that big vicious soak you in a second prairie rain. No. It's that darn misty damp making rain that lulls you into a false sense of security. "Well it's not like it's pouring...maybe I will go out in the rain." You come back damp and miserable. I hate that in between rain stuff. Either rain or don't rain. None of the misty damp stuff. For whatever reason now we're over compensating for our lack of umbrellas in the past by having 4. They all suit different purposes. One is for travel because it packs up super small and fits in my purse. One was purchased whilst spending the day in Strasbourg because I'm a moron and didn't think to bring my umbrella. In my defense the weather was nice in Bern. One was given to me as a gift from a dear friend (Hi Michelle) it's from the Musical Wicked. I use it basically when ever I go out in the rain because it's awesome and it makes me think of her. And then there was the last one...it was purchased by John because of an intense phobia he developed after we moved here.

Christmas Day 2011
John bought me that big umbrella of rainbow deliciousness for Christmas. I will admit when I saw it wrapped under the tree I assumed for a moment it might be a shotgun. Anything is possible when you're married to a Hammell. Turns out it was an umbrella I had seen in a store about 2 or 3 days after we landed in Bern. I had done a happy dance over it's rainbowiness (that's totally a word I swear.) Why had he bought just a random for most people but awesome for me who is not most people gift? Because he's intensely afraid of getting poked in the by the pointy things around the edge of an open umbrella. Like seriously twitchy when he's around an open umbrella.

Most of our umbrellas are small and we don't both fit under them. So he usually walks a few paces ahead or behind me to avoid the pokey things which are at eye level. This phobia intensifies further when John commutes to work on rainy days. Apparently most people hear start opening their umbrellas whilst still on the bus and immediately putting it over their head just as their about to leave through the door of said bus. Basically putting the eyes of everyone around them in danger on a rush hour packed bus. John hates the bus on rainy days. So he bought me a huge umbrella. One where we both fit under and he doesn't have to spend the whole time fretting about eye safety.

As awesome and wonderful as this umbrella is it has one draw back. When we're together and using it. John won't hold it. Apparently it's not manly to hold a rainbow umbrella. Whatever.


  1. Just so you know, I receive regular compliments on the Gunbrella you guys gave me for Christmas one year. Well, it was only one compliment, but I can tell everyone is thinking it.

    1. Everyone is totally thinking it they're just to overwhelmed by the awesomeness of it that they are rendered speechless.

  2. You should tell John to wear goggles or some kind of eye protection on those days.


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