Your apartment is always tidy and has a consistent theme throughout the entire zen-like space. When in reality the apartment of the person that actually writes this blog is mostly furnished in the ex-pat style of "Chez Ikea", the bed hasn't been made in a week and, currently there are dishes in the sink from last night. You make me feel like my home is not worthy of being featured on my blog. But here's the thing, it's MY BLOG. Not yours. So if I happen to post of picture and there are clothing on the floor my bedroom...DEAL WITH IT! I will be proud of my flat packed ikea almost zen living space...especially my cow hide throw rug!
Your marriage is perfect and all you want to do is write about how marriage is everything its cracked up to be and that you never find it difficult and that you never wonder "what the hell have I done?!" Here's the thing, I do wonder that and then some. I want to honestly blog about marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be sometimes and that I'm incredibly hard to live with. But I don't because you scare me. You're kind of a bully. I'm only suppose to post the nice things. Date nights, romantic gestures and picnics in the park. Don't mention the melt down where I told the husband I felt trapped. Don't mention the fight about how he does the laundry wrong. And don't breath a word about the loneliness. They will think I'm bitter, unhappy and have a long suffering husband. But I'm not. Some days marriage is hard. My marriage isn't perfect but we'll figure it out. So I'll proud of how far we're come in our 5.5 year marriage and take the better, the worse and the epic meltdowns and put them out there.
You're always very put together. You're dressed before 10am. You work out regularly and watch what you eat. You throw amazing intimate gatherings with DIY projects galore. Which is great for you. But it's not great for me. Sometimes I wear my yoga pants all day and drink way too much coffee. We have yet to have anyone set foot in our apartment for any kind of gathering and some of my DIY projects look more like Sunday school crafts from the 80's. And you know what? I'm okay with that. I will own that. I WILL blog that. Despite your bullying. Despite your shoulder devil ways. Despite you trying to convince me I'm not perfect enough for the greater blog community to like me. To bad, I like me.
So I regret to inform you that I am terminating our rental agreement which has allowed you to take up valuable space in my brain for free. This is effective immediately. Whilst I feel like we've build an interesting relationship I really don't see it being conducive to my personal growth as a writer, a blogger or as a human being in general. You're too perfect. And I am hopelessly, but beautifully, flawed and my blog needs to reflect that. I have lost a little of myself in my effort to be the exact carbon copy of you. Not cool.
From this day forward you will be a distant memory and I will strive to be nothing but my authentic self. I will not be ashamed that I am not the perfect blogger with a fancy smancy professional layout. I will post pictures of my life and not wonder if they're good enough to end up on pinterest one day. I will be me. Slightly messy, always frustrating to me married to, sometimes potty mouthed, completely authentic, me.
The Dubious Hausfrau