Success = no one died

The husband and I deem any adventure together a success if we both come back alive. Yes, our expectations low.

Here's the thing. We love each other. Without knowing how or why or from where. We love each other deeply and with reckless abandon. We make each others dopamine levels go all silly. We love each other like Dobby loves socks.

But we don't spend a lot of time together. We can't. Someone would die. I wish I was kidding. Call us strange. Call us detached. Call us cold. But if we spend too much time together the likelihood of a nasty divorce goes through the roof and friends and family start wondering if they need to check our basement for bodies. Recently the prospect of 10 days together was viewed with suspicion and abject terror. The last time we spent 10 days together we screamed, "I can't wait for you to go back to work!!!!" at each other more than once. This was about 5 years ago. We haven't spent that much time together since.

*Side note* Not that we think there is anything wrong with spending a lot of time with your significant other. More power to you if you can do that. We admire that because its something we can't do. *end of side note*

So we devised a cunning plan after that fateful Christmas outburst 5 years ago. When we have time off together we make sure other people are involved in some fashion to act as people we have to behave in front of. This reduces the risk of death, divorce or being left at the side of the road some where that doesn't speak English as a first language.

Don't believe me?

Trip to Vegas - Took our friend Joe with us
Trip to New York and Washington - Took my parents with us
Trip to Montreal - Made sure to see friends Anne Marie and Dups
Arrival in Switzerland - My dad was here. Then we had three days and then John started work.
Trip to Heidelberg for the weekend - Met my dad there.
Recent trip to France - Went with friends and their dog.

See. We can't be trusted alone.

We arrived back home on the afternoon of the 30th which meant we had 3 full days together. 3 days is our limit...the average length of a Canadian long weekend (of which we have many.) Anything longer and I yell at Johnathan for chewing to loud and he yells at me for doing 42 things at once.

The holiday season usually means surviving our families. This year it meant surviving each other. I think we did a pretty good job.

We skyped with family including my 84 year old Oma (she'll be 85 in March) and a very confused significant other of one of Johnathan's cousins.

We debated whether or not Ewok was an allowable Scrabble word (the answer is YES if you're playing Casa de Ham-tin rules scrabble which also includes no using the scrabble dictionary...that's mostly because we don't have one.)

We learned the only line longer than the beer line at a WRDL bout is the line for mulled wine at the Bern Christmas Market.

We discovered that France likes round abouts, churches, and extremely kitschy steakhouses.

I learned that medium sized yoga pants in Europe are small yoga pants in the US. Huh.

Johnathan got to explore a castle for the firs time.

I got to really practice my "Bonjour" and "Merci!"

Johnathan finally had to be the one to play translator!!!!

I discovered that sometimes French eateries in France run out of Creme Brulee.

We missed the snow but not the -20 degrees.

There are few things in this world as satisfying as going 130 kph.

I was once again confronted by the failings for my high school guidance counselor when I was at a Chocolate Museum. Apparently she failed to inform me that Chocolate School was a viable post secondary option.

We missed our families desperately but we didn't miss the chaos and judging of our life choices (tis the season.)

Johnathan didn't even notice there was no taco salad to be had on boxing day.

I was informed that my skill of finding the Lush store in any city was not necessarily the most useful thing on the planet.

Most of all, we survived each other and that's what the holiday season is all about Charlie Brown.


HomoHausfrau said…
Love the update! I hear ya about not being able to spend a lot of time together! I *barely* made it through a week in Mexico with DH last summer... and we still had made sure to spend lots of that time with other people. Glad it's not just us.

We also avoided the judgement of our life choices (or "lack thereof" in the child department) by celebrating Chrismtas alone. It was glorious!

(I "know" you from WB in case you wondered who the heck this stranger commenting is!!!)
Sarah said…
I love this post for a variety of reasons. Andrew would spend every waking moment with me if he could (bless his heart) and it has taken so much of my will power to finally tell him that I need time to myself every week. It's not personal, I said, Once a week I don't like anyone. Makes me wonder how we are going to live in a RV together for 5 months. Also, I love that you make decisions no matter what people think and that my family is not the only one that does that.