Saturday, July 15, 2017

Reader, I married him



The day we met he was wearing a shirt that said Evil doer. I was wearing orange pants.

The day I told him I had feelings for him. He told me, "that's nice..." and then NOTHING.

On our first date he ordered me a HORRIBLE pink cocktail. He drank Kilkenny. I also pretended not to know how to play darts. 

The first time he ever invited me over to his apartment we sat on the floor eating Cheetos with chopsticks watching Fight Club.

The day he met my parents we weren't even dating yet. The day I met his parents he left me in the kitchen with his mom after a 10 second introduction. 

The day he met my extended family he learned "I had lunch" means nothing to them. The day I met his extended family all 30 of them rushed at me in a hotel lobby.

I once left a note on the windshield of his car, inadvertently making him think he got a parking ticket. He once left a pumpkin spice latte on my desk at home...while I was in the shower and the only person home. He didn't leave a note so I thought I had been reverse burgled. 

He once spent entire afternoons helping me study for astronomy tests. I once did the entire bibliography for his senior thesis project. 

A month after we started dating I took off the Europe for 2.5 weeks. The summer before we got married I took off to Europe again, this time for 3 months. When I got back I promised next time I went to Europe he would come along. 

The moment before he asked me to marry him he called me a Jerk. The moment after he asked me to marry him I laughed so hard I forgot to say yes. We then sat on the floor eating Doritos walking Walk the Line. 

I once convinced him to see "The Notebook" by telling him it was a War movie. He once convinced me to watch "Kill Bill" by saying it was "an Uma Thurman movie, you like Uma Thurman."

The night before we got married he called me, like most nights for the last 3 years to say goodnight.

The day we got married he asked me if I would run away with him. I said I would but only if he came to this party I was throwing first.

The evening of our wedding we sat on the floor of our hotel room at Elkhorn resort eating fried chicken watching Stand by me.

The day after we got married we went to a used bookstore/coffee place. I bought a collection of Dietrich Bonhoeffer letters. He bought coffee with a shot of espresso. 

Yesterday, the night before we celebrated 11 years of being hitched we sat on the floor eating brie and baguettes while watching Mad Men.

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