Monday, December 23, 2013

The 3rd Annual Airing of the Grievances

It's December 23rd and you know what that means? It's Festivus for the rest of us!! It also means it's time for my annual airing of the grievances. Also known as, Tatiana's list of first world problems.

And in case you're wondering the feats of strength will come later today when I try to not buy everything on the food floor at the KaDeWe. Trust me, google it, not walking away with everything I lay my eyes on there today will be a feat of strength like no other.

Travel Grievances:

To the people who don't walk on the moving sidewalks that have been put there to make your journey through the airport faster and easier....I hope you miss your flight

To the guy whose coat seemed to precious to be in the overhead bin with other things and moved it to a different one so it could lay flat...maybe that coat shouldn't be your travel coat.

To the people who crowd around the gate the minute the flight starts to board aka gate lice....we're ALL GOING TO GET ON THE PLANE!!! CHILL OUT!!!

To the people who don't know how to get off the plane in a timely fashion....I hope you forget something in the seat back pocket.

To the people who sit behind me on planes and pull my hair because they grab the back of my seat when they get up....OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

Public Transportation Grievances:

To the people who can't get on or off any form of public transportation in a timely fashion....stay home.

Tourist Grievances:

To the tourists who seems to think they're doing the Swiss a favour by coming to visit....while your tourist dollars are appreciated the attitude is not.

To the tourists who forget that some of us speak English....I understand what you're saying and I have no problem responding to you in perfect English...and no my shoes aren't weird.

To the tourists who stop every two feet to take a picture causing people to bump into them because of their unexpected stop....no need to get short with me, I'm not the one who stopped. This is a sidewalk bot a sidestand ticking off everyone around you.

Misc. Grievances:

To the people who tell me teaching English as a second language is easy if you already speak English...if it's so easy maybe you should use the proper form of their/there/they're more often.

To my heartburn and indigestion....Screw off. It's christmas and I'm in Berlin. This whole eating clean and healthy is just not going to happen right now. Just let it go.

To Gluhwein in the Christmas Markets....I burn my tongue every. single. time. You know have exactly NO patience for you are tasty and warm and I don't like waiting.

To my 30th birthday that is approaching in March....BACK OFF! I'm not ready yet.


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