Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I love you like Worf loves Klingon Honour

In case you weren't aware this is "the husband".


Or as I like to call him, John....or as his mom likes to call him, Johnathan. Or as he would like his niece Zombie Snack to call him, "Super Uncle Johnathan!" With exclamation point.

It's the annual celebration of his journey around the sun. More simply put, it's his birthday. He doesn't like attention lavished on him for his birthday. Every time I try to plan something for his birthday the Universe punches me in the face and ruins everything. One year Steven Tyler fell off a stage in North Dakota therefore the Areosmith Concert with ZZ Top as the opening act was canceled (as was the vintage limo I had booked to take us to said concert.) The following year he cancelled any and all birthday stuff because he didn't want to steal his Uncles 60th birthday thunder. Last year for his 30th birthday, I had a venue booked, a cake designed and booked (the cover of his favourite Pratchett book), invites sent out, 50 guest favours that were a custom art piece commissioned by his favourite artist...we moved to Switzerland. This year I had an email ready to go to a friend of ours that stated I needed her help to gather everyone for a small birthday celebration. It was sitting in my drafts file. He went on a tirade about how he doesn't want a big deal for his birthday this year because it's only 31 on Saturday. I deleted the email. Yeah. He's your typical difficult oldest child (yeah...I said it.)



So in lieu of the skywriter and smilely face fireworks I cancelled (I'm kidding John...really) I want to celebrate him by telling you here 10 things I learned from Johnathan.

1. House elves are trapped and Apartment Trolls are hunted.

2. How to talk rings around tech support. Also calling tech support is your last resort not your first. Furthermore, before they start trying to get you to do everything you've already tried, tell you them exactly everything you did before you called them.

3. To replicate the heat he recently experienced in Doha, Qatar all you need to do is stand way to close to a fire.

4. Sure you might work for a department of the United Nations and be saving the world one money transfer software installation at a time but sometimes it's okay to not know the ins and outs of the PVR.

5. When it comes to home decor, purchase a cowhide rug. It will eventually become more than acceptable to your wife and she'll willingly buy another one.


6. It's okay for a 2 hour journey to take 4 hours.

7. Don't stop and smell the roses, stop and dance with your niece to "Fighting Trousers"

8. The only benefit of a small town education that he can see is that due to the lack of a french program you may one day avoid spending 22 hours flying to New Caledonia for work.

9. Love is teaching your spousal equivalent how to use a Linux based operating system. And Ereaders are better than flowers most days.

10. No matter where we go, as long as we have each other...and snacks, we'll be okay.


Mom2MemphisandRuby
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2 comments:

  1. Awwww... cute! I love "hubby" posts!
    Thanks for linking up! I'm your newest follower! ♥

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    1. Hi Lena! Thanks for much for stopping by and hosting the link up! Super excited to have you as a new follower!!!

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