Friday, May 11, 2012

25 things I learned from my mother-in-law

Today begins a three part Mother's Day Series where I'm going to cover the things I learned from some of the awesome Moms in my life. Today I start with my Mother-in-law Lynda. I was the first person to be brought into my husbands immediate family as a permanent significant other so there was a bit of a learning curve for both me and my mother-in-law. John refers to me as the trial and error kid-in-law much like how he was the trail and error son and his sister Beryth was the trial and error daughter. We're just figuring this whole thing out as we go along. And I think we're doing pretty okay. Actually, I kind of won the mother-in-law lottery. Getting to know her has taught me a lot about my husband but also how to function as a "married in" within a large immediate and extended family who aren't use to female interlopers. For which I will be forever thankful.

Also I'm pleased to announce that this entry was co-written by the trial and error son. And by co-written I mean I forced him to help me.

Can't take us any where
1. Johnathan has ALWAYS talked in his sleep.*

2. A smile would be nice.

3. Hammell children have a habit of stealing warmth from the living room by lying across the back of the couch and blocking the entire vent.

4. Get your feet off the back of the couch. It doesn't matter that the warm air is blowing on them.**

5. If you don't like it, make your own dinner.

6. Hammells have amazing land speed when it comes to bowl of taco salad.

7. How to make pie crust.

8. Which of Johnathan's cousins belong to which Aunt and Uncle.***

9. How to tell my brothers-in-law apart in their baby photos.****

10. Never leave Johnathan unattended when there is a cake in the freezer.

11. Its your funeral if she challenges you to a game of Crocono. 

12. Same goes for Scrabble.

13. When in doubt just yell everyones name at once and hopefully the right person will respond.

14. My husband makes the cutest dinosaur in the history of cute dinosaurs. 

15. There is a collection of family photos known as, "The years in which Johnathan forgot how to smile."

16. If you cut open the Hammell siblings at dinner time, they'll bleed ranch dressing.

17. Always take a picture on the first day of school, no matter how much they grump and complain.

18. How to say "Johnathan" in such way that it conveys "stop that" and yet so much more.

19. Just help yourself.

20. The dishes could always be cleaner (Johnathan said this very specifically, I'm going to assume Lynda knows what he means.)

21. No you can't open the presents until everyone is out of bed.

22. There is someone in the world that can love something as much as I love roller derby. Except for her, it's quilting.

23. Warn somebody if you're putting aerosol can in the burning barrel. (Again, Johnathan was SUPER specific about this.)

24. How to make bread.

25. If looking for Johnathan do one of two things, check the roof or call the dog.

Oddly enough, she has yet to tell us who Rod Stewart is?

* She swears she told me this. But I think I would remember being told he talks in his sleep. 
** Lynda, he had his feet on the back of the new couch the other night. He declared, "My house, my couch, my rules!"
*** This also goes for anyone from the town of Pierson who appears to know who I am but I don't know who they are. Johnathan is kind of useless in this department.
**** They are several years apart in age but I'll be damned if I know who was who in their childhood pictures.
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